Nonsense Alphabet

M was a dish of Mince;
      It looked so good to eat!
Papa, he quickly ate it up,
      And said, 'This is a treat!'

N was a Nut that grew
      High up upon a tree;
Papa, who could not reach it,said,
      'That's much too high for me!'

O was an Owl who flew
      All in the dark away,
Papa said, 'What an owl you are!
      'Why don't you fly by day!'

P was a little Pig,
      Went out to take a walk;
Papa he said, 'If Piggy dead,
      He'd all turn into Pork!'

Q was a Quince that hung
      Upon a garden tree;
Papa he brought it with him home,
      And ate it with his tea.

R was a Railway Rug,
      Extremely large and warm;
Papa he wrapped it round his head,
      In a most dreadful storm.

S was Papa's new Stick,
      Papa's new thumping Stick,
To thump extremely wicked boys,
      Because it was so thick.

T was a Tumbler full
      of Punch all hot and good;
Papa he drank it up, when in
      The middle of a wood.

U was a silver Urn,
      Full of hot scalding water;
Papa said, 'If that Urn were mine,
      I'd give it to my daughter!'

V was a Villain; once;
      He stole a piece of beef.
Papa he said, 'O! dreadful man!
      That Villain is a Thief!'

W was a Watch of Gold:
      It told the time of day,
So that Papa knew when to come,
      And when to go away.

X was King Xerxes, whom
      Papa much wished to know;
But this he could not do, because
      Xerxes died long ago.

Y was a Youth, who kicked
      And screamed and cried like mad;
Papa he said, 'Your conduct is
      Abominably bad!'

Z was a Zebra striped
      And streaked with lines of black;
Papa said once, he thought he'd like
      A ride upon his back.